One thing I've really wanted to preach about, yet haven't been able to find that silver lining where I preach but don't come off as a crazy preggo b*tch, is to tell people off when they give their unsolicited comments and advice. And let's just put it out there and say that this is usually backed on zero knowledge and all their personal experience or unresolved trauma of their own.
We all have been victims of the comments that leave us feeling like a bag of squashed nuts from people who act like they care or are in support. Let me tell ya - it happens to all of us and it never feels sexy.
From the beginning of this pregnancy I've been pretty vocal about topics that are somewhat taboo or that go un-talked about such as:
But rest assured, the same people who have heard this rants have still felt the need to continue commenting on the size of my belly...(awkwardly smiling at my screen right now wondering if these same people will read this too).
Story time...over the holidays we were at a function where yet again, another person wanted to tell me that I won't make it to my expected due date, and confirming that I will deliver early. I came home bit*hy about it and told my boyfriend that from this point forward I'd start sharing my opinion very bluntly when people want to share these "opinions" with me. He definitely thought I was hormonal and probably should avoid this conflict, BUT heck no.
Telling a woman that she is going to be early, whether you see that head popping out or not IS NOT OKAY. Do you know how much impact that one little comment can make?
That can spiral a host of fears, such as not being ready and prepared yet to feeling like a failure to getting scared that their child might be born under developed.
This is just one example and there have been so many but to be honest I'm just at the point where my awkward facial responses have run out. And I truly believe that we need to stop people in their tracks from making comments to people, whether they are a mother themselves and think they know all. The ONLY person who should be able to comment on your body is YOU, and the only person who should be giving opinions is the doctor who went through a decade of schooling to be professional qualified to do so.
This year I want to stand more powerfuly in my voice and my opinions. I want people to learn that it's not okay to say things like this to me - or others.
Everyone is entitled to have an opinion, but we are not forced to allow that comment to affect us, to hurt us, to make us feel less than or question our worth. That is our choice And while the other side of the coin to this argument would be for me to "let it go and be the bigger person" I know there are other women out there who might actually go home with that comment and take it as their truth. That they might not be as strong. And I believe that shedding light on hurtful comments can eventually lead to one person thinking twice about commenting on a pregnant mother's delivery date.
Alright, end of rant haha...despite the saltiness of this blog I'm actually in a great mood. I might be sicker than sick right now and can barely breathe but I'm here and ready to take on 2020 like never before. Who's with me? Who's ready to stand in their power a little more this year?
Sending each one of you love who's ever been hurt by a comment and I hope you have a fabulous freaking week!
Jess and the mini hot tamale! xo
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