If pregnancy looked like this tub photo 24/7 I'd be the happiest little camper. But the reality is that for me it's looked like heat pads being constantly placed on rib pain, kidney stones, moving and selling my home, renovating dad's place, converting my entire membership site to a new platform, creating and filming 3 trimesters of workouts for future guides, on top of a crazy workload, navigating our relationship, and an unplanned pregnancy.
That was the longest run-on sentence possible and yet I know that each one of us could easily create our own version of one, right?
But when we say we are sad, upset, frustrated and just want to cry the last thing we want to hear is, "Do you think this is your pregnancy hormones"?
Well Nancy, yet it just might be but it also might be that my entire world is changing, I'm growing a human (and it hurts) and I'm also a solo entrepreneur with a pretty hectic schedule. So yes, my hormones might be at an all-time high but everything I'm feeling is REAL.
Sometimes I feel like it's those comments that just need to be removed from the vocabulary of humans, agreed?
So here I am pushing through, and to be honest, I think prior to the 30-week mark I shut off a lot of it. I was so busy, too busy, that I didn't have time for ME. I needed to do all the work to plan, to prepare, to get "ready". I kept telling myself and others around me that by week 30 I'd relax, I'd slow down and then week 30 came.
All of a sudden the hormones hit me like a ton of bricks and I cried...a lot.
I was so saddened that the chaos wasn't nearly over.
That the stress hasn't disappeared, yet.
That we didn't have a crib up, a single bottle or diaper.
I became a mess. I didn't know how or what to do. I wanted to run away but couldn't.
After a few good cries I made a game plan.
Last night we set up the dresser, the crib and stuffed a few drawers with diapers, wipes, and the basics we bought the day after my big ol' meltdown.
We are makin' progress.
This blog turned into more a diary entry but I want you to know that if you are out there feelin' alone and like everyone is breezin' through their pregnancies - it's just likely not true mama! I might be working out, drinking my greens and looking like I got it all together but in reality, I've just mastered some parts of self-care that were non-negotiable in my life way before pregnancy.
I still cry, worry, fear, and feel all kinds of hungry.
One thing I really want to do more of this pregnancy is capturing moments. I loved doing this maternity shoot even though I felt guilty sneaking off during work hours to do it. But I want more because I don't know if I'll ever do this again and I want these memories. It's literally the only time this babe is going to be inside of me and I want our moments together forever.
Photos by: https://www.kristenborelliphotography.com/ and stay tuned because we are going to be doing a fun little giveaway real quick!
Talk to you soon babes!
-Jess...and the mini hot tamale! xo